Homeschoolers: Good for the Community

"Please have Johnny bring *spare change/canned goods/...fill in the blank* to school by Friday for XX charity". If Johnny brings the thing in, the teacher will give him a cookie on Friday afternoon. If not, he'll get an X by his name on the bulletin board. Does charity count when it's given under duress?

In my experience, children are naturally charitable. It can be discouraged or forced out of them by unsupportive adults (usually parents) or over-eager adults (usually teachers or administrators trying to contrive an object lesson). The first happens when a little child asks her parents if she can put her allowance in the donation can, or if they can buy a paper pumpkin at the grocery store and is denied and hushed. She has just learned that people in need of charity are nothing more than a burden and not worth sharing with, or even thinking about. The second happens when well-meaning people organize a student body to donate spare change or oddments of one kind and another to a designated charity deemed worthy by those well-meaning people. The whole excersise becomes a burdensome one when Mum and Dad grumble about having to run out to get a tin of soup (not, incidentally, purchased by the child himself). It gets worse when the child arrives empty-handed each day, only to be belittled in front of the class for forgetting. The child returns home resentful of his parents for allowing him to endure humiliation and of charity for existing to provide such an opportunity for embarrassment. Those children have also learned to associate artificial and irrelevant rewards for offering charity.

Homeschoolers, it has been my happy observation, have an opposite view of charity. In fact, they are far more knowledgeable of the multitude of charitable organizations and endeavors available to help. These children have both support and a lack of pressure to perform arbitrary acts of kindness. They are allowed to discover charities that speak to their individual hearts, to investigate ways in which they can help, within their own strengths and gifts, and encouraged to do so. These children, play music or read to elderly, buy dog bones for the local shelter, make pins or lemonade to sell for a special cause. They are always successful. The success lies not in the funds they raise, but in the sure knowledge that they, on their own steam, have made a difference in their own small way. They are aware of the importance of small acts of kindness and charity, and feel encouraged to keep trying to make a bigger and bigger difference. I am the proud mother of just such children.

A little over a year ago, my oldest daughter decided to organize a sewing project for her sister's Brownie troop's campout. The girls were to sew little satin bows of blue or pink on to little tiny fleece hats. At first, not many of the girls were interested- not even her own sister. Gradually the group grew from a handful of little girls with needle and thread, to 3/4 of the troop and all of the mothers present. One of the mom's asked what such tiny hats were for - Cate replied that they would be washed and taken to the local NICU for the premature babies. This response caused a minor sensation as mothers became excited and exclaimed in support of her efforts. We discovered that two of the little girls helping were NICU babies and shared that Cate had also been a NICU baby. It led to discussions about prematurity, what it means, what can happen, how premature babies are helped by the NICU, etc. Before long, all the hats were packed away and the discussion continued for some time before bed that night.

The hats were delivered to the NICU by grateful nurses. Cate was shy, but clearly pleased with the reception of her gift. She was delighted with the thank-you note and the recommendation for a Girl Scout Bronze Award from the Brownie Troop leader and her Junior Scout leader. The feeling she came away with from that little project has inspired her to keep up with the work. This Christmas Eve, she delivered 30 hats that she knitted and had blessed by our priest.

Over the weeks leading up to Christmas, she worked single mindedly on those hats, always with the goal of delivering 30 hats. She carried her knitting bag with her wherever we went. People asked at first about what she was doing. Eventually, they started asking about her progress and admired her determination and her skill. On a trip out for new needles, we were met with a knitter who volunteers for the Prayer Shawl Ministry at our Church. She suggested that Cate should come teach the ladies how to knit in the round so that they can contribute to her efforts. At the same time, little girls were expressing an interest in learning to knit, or using their knitting skills to help. Her little sister Carrie doesn't knit, but loves to sew and has offered to help make sewn gifts. Her younger brother jack doesn't knit or sew, but has now offered to undertake a bottle and can drive to raise funds for materials. Cate, with the help of family and friends, is organizing a new ministry at our Church which will deliver not only little knitted hats, but blessing/burial gowns, shrouds and toys to the babies in NICU.

The children's openness to help those in need, the encouragement they received, and the joy that they have gained in the doing and giving has given them the power to do a great deal of good for the community. Had they been at school, I doubt they'd have had either the time or the inclination to make the effort.

Homeschoolers: Good for the Environment

We try to get out each morning and walk a half mile down the road to the farm where live two cows and a pony. We often notice with disgust the trash that accumulates by the roadside. Some of the material falls from the garbage trucks that come through on Wednesday afternoons, but one of our neighbors clearly has a drinking problem since there is an abundance of nip bottles and beer cans strewn about in the grass verge.

In her usual sweet way, our middle daughter, one morning suggested that we come through the next day with a large bin bag and collect the trash. We had a great time finding and collecting the trash the next day (meanwhile Alice's Restaurant was looping in my mind). We speculated about how it came to rest on the side of the road (the garbage, not my mind), talked about the damage to the environment- plants and animals alike. We imagined that the bobolinks (an increasingly rare species due to the dessimation of our farms with grass crops) chirrupping above us were calling their thanks.

By the time we returned home, our lawn and leaf bag was full up and required two people to carry it. Now, we didn't save the world, just tidied up our little patch of road, but the exercise served to assure our children that they have the power to make a difference in their world, and that stewardship of our world begins with picking up what is right in front of us. The opportunity to DO is far more powerful than an Earthday Worksheet that will be filled in and taken home, probably dropped getting off the bus, and forgotten until a homeschooler comes along to collect it from the roadside on his daily walk.

Of Glitter and Pinecones

One of these days I'm going to write a book entitled "Keeping Christmas Well". I came to that conclusion during a discussion with my husband recently. We were cleaning up after an evening of celebrating with our children. Christmastide lasts from Advent through Epiphany in our home - so it ain't over yet! In the course of any given day, we speak to many people by phone or in person. The conversations in recent weeks changed in tone from happy, idle, banter about the weather or each other's general well-being to intense stress as relates to Christmas. I am baffled...

I am a reasonably intelligent and worldly person, but I can not understand how people allow themselves to get so bent out of shape over an event that is meant to be the culmination of Peace, Love, Hope and Joy. What is more, I become supremely irritated (I am after all only human) with people who don't 'get' it. People who celebrate the Birth of Jesus, without actually acknowledging that that is the Feast of the Nativity - a Christian holiday - make me more than just a little twitchy. I am annoyed that a religious holiday has been hijacked and abused by commercial entities for their own purposes. I don't deny that there is a need for goods related to the celebration of the holiday, but we have gone beyond the point of turning the Holiday into a novelty occurance - an event that is for most people more about what we wear, how much money we can spend on people we could care less about the rest of the year, and making an impression for the sake of people we know only superficially. Wouldn't it be lovely if we invited interested non-Christians into our homes to experience Christmas-tide as it truly should be?

It's not an unsalvageable situation, however. We just need to take the Holiday in hand within our own families, building traditions they will carry on for generations to come. I grew up with a very superficial understanding of Christmas. I'm not really sure I can point to a personal epiphany that caused me to see the error of my ways. However, since having children, I can say that Christmas has been celebrated for what it truly is and in a spirit befitting the ocassion. Giftgiving is certainly a significant part of our celebration, but we don't set foot inside of a store for the purpose of plucking a premade gift from the shelf for second-cousin Bertha, which will be grudgingly toted to a dreaded family gathering, all the while watching the clock. We visit generally small specialty shops where we can find the materials to make Christmas gifts with our hands. Yes, this tradition did spring from a protracted period of poverty, but was a blessing. It put giftgiving into it's proper perspective. Because handmade gifts are time-consuming, we have the opportunity to think about the recipient and to put love into the making. Giftmaking starts in late summer at our house. Knitting needles, wools, sewing supplies, woodworking supplies, pens, inks, paints and imaginations all come out and get put to heavy use. We spend Advent discussing projects, helping each other with them, and trying not to blow the gaff for the recipient. We make gifts for those family members we are closest to, the process of creating handmade gifts tends to allow the superficiality of giftgiving to people we would not otherwise spend significant time with, to fall away. Relations whom we don't see the rest of the year receive a thoughtfully chosen greeting card with our love attached. Our greatest gift to them is perhaps the greatest gift of all - our prayers.

Following Thanksgiving celebrations, when most of the Western world is scrambling to the shops for the best deal on Christmas presents they don't really want to go into debt for, we are digging out the Advent Wreath and firing up the oven for homemade goodies. Usually about the second week in Advent, the tree comes home. Popcorn is popped for garland (and to feed the birds after disposal) and saltdough ornaments are baked and hung. A Christmas newsletter is composed and is now posted online to ensure cards are sent out before Valentine's Day. We are also putting the finishing touches on our homemade gifts and wrapping them up in pretty papers and bows. We attend choir and bell practices, visit with family and friends, perform at our Church and as guests in others, sing for the elderly, and generally enjoy bustling about. We celebrate St. Nicholas Day with paper bags of chocolates and clementines, sometimes celebrate St. Lucia's Day, and enjoy observing Hannukah as we suspect Jesus might have done (complete with latkes and a rousing game of dreidl). For the last two years, Advent is when we begin charity giftmaking. This year, our eldest daughter knitted 30 caps for the babies at our local NICU. They were blessed by our parish priest and delivered on Christmas Eve.

Christmas Day is the climax of our Advent preparations. It begins with a sweet treat and coffee (or cocoa) while gifts are exchanged and joyfully opened. We dress and hurry to Church to celebrate the Birthday of Jesus, and then return home for a celebratory dinner complete with lighted birthday cake. The table is set with our prettiest cloth, which lies over a sprinkling of blessed hay, symbolising the hay in the manger. Candles are set and lit, an extra place is set symbolising having made our home ready to receive Christ, in whatever form he might appear.

We make visits out to relatives during the twelve days leading up to Epiphany. This is generally when we exchange gifts with extended family and dine together. Bell and choir pratices continue as do performances during this time. The tree stays up and is admired until after Epiphany, then it is with a twinge of sadness that it is un-decorated and put out to return to nature. The joy is extended somewhat as we watch and wait to see neighborhood birds come to munch on the stale popcorn garland. So this year, as I pack away the glittery pinecones that were made by small hands and hung in with great ceremony from balsam fir boughs, I'll be praying that next year brings you a simply joyful Christmas season.